Safety Tips for Private Sperm Donation

How to Stay Safe During Private Sperm Donation

Sperm donation is a sensitive topic for both donors and future parents. We created this guide to help donors and future parents understand what we consider best practice when getting to know new people and planning private sperm donation.

In order to create a safe space for a successful donation exchange, familiarise yourself with our community guidelines and consult this guide before setting up a meeting.

Before You Get Started

Get clear on what you want, what you need, and what you won’t compromise on.

Know Your Boundaries

Before speaking to anyone, take a moment to define what is important to you. Knowing your needs and boundaries early on will help you find a match who shares similar expectations. Share your boundaries early and respect those of the other person at every stage.

• What donation methods are you comfortable with?

• What level of involvement, if any, do you want after conception?

• What communication style works for you?

• What do you need to feel safe during meetings or the donation itself?

• What are no-gos?

Tip: Map out your needs and boundaries before speaking to anyone. Always respect other people’s boundaries

Understand the Law

Private sperm donation laws vary widely from place to place. Written agreements are useful for documenting intentions, but are not legally binding in most of the world. Choice of method and marital status of the future parent can have legal consequences, creating unintended legal parenthood or financial responsibilities for the donor. A legal parent has both rights (involved in key decisions about the child’s upbringing, incl. schooling, healthcare, and residence) and responsibilities (such as child maintenance and inheritance obligations).

Tip: Before you begin, consult a lawyer who knows your local regulations. This protects everyone involved, especially the future child.

Finding People You Can Trust

How to spot genuine profiles, assess intentions, and alignment in the early vetting.

Use ID Verification

Verification helps confirm that the person you’re speaking with is real and reduces the risk of impersonation or scams. Y factor uses Veriff for identity verification, which checks that the person matches their official ID, giving you an extra layer of confidence before meeting or exchanging personal information.

Tip: Verification isn’t a guarantee of safety, but it’s an important tool to reduce risk.

Scan Profiles and Look for Compatibility

A profile can give important signals about someone’s intentions, reliability, and alignment. On Y factor, all profiles include preferences for method and commitment. Use the filters in the search function to find people who are aligned with yours. What each person chooses to include in their profile is very individual. The level of detail on a profile and communication style can give hints to a person’s openness and thoughtfulness. Incomplete profiles may require extra caution. Take the time to read the profiles carefully.

Tip: If something feels off or inconsistent, move on to someone else. Early caution can save emotional stress later.

Getting to Know Each Other

From the first message to meeting in person, practical steps to protect yourself and build trust.

Keep Communication Inside the App

Moving your communication to other channels too quickly can put your privacy at risk and make it harder to resolve misunderstandings if something goes wrong. We recommend that you stay within Y factor’s app to protect your privacy and keep a record of your conversations.

• Take it slow and don’t feel pressured to move the conversation to other apps.

• Avoid sharing contact details early, including full name, address, social accounts, and financial info.

• Unmatch and stop contact if you don’t feel comfortable.

• Report bad behaviour. We take all reports very seriously. Learn more about reporting users here.

Tip: Stay in the app to protect your privacy and keep evidence if problems arise, unmatch and report when needed, and only move to other messaging apps or plan to meet in person once trust has been established.

Ask Questions and Trust Your Instincts

Unclear expectations can lead to misunderstandings or unsafe situations. Take your time to get to know each other, give each other space to make thoughtful decisions, and build trust before moving forward.

• Confirm your mutual donation preferences early: timeline, method, compensation, and involvement.

• Understand each other’s motivations, expectations, and values, and verify the information provided.

• Ask about health considerations and willingness to share medical history.

• Look for green flags, such as honesty, transparency, and respect in answers, and pay attention to how the other person communicates and behaves.

• Look for red flags, such as vague or inconsistent answers, disrespect, or unwillingness to answer basic questions. Read our article on red flags to look out for here.

Tip: Checking information carefully and trusting your instincts reduces the risk of emotional or practical complications later.

Plan Your First Meeting Carefully

The first time you meet, we recommend choosing a neutral location such as a café or other public area. If it helps you feel safer, bring a friend or partner and let the other person know beforehand. Don’t feel pressured to do the donation immediately or in uncomfortable locations (e.g. public toilet, car).

Tip: Public meetings help you assess comfort level without risking personal safety.

Preparing for the Donation

Approaching the donation while protecting yourself and your counterpart

Conduct Necessary Health Tests

Medical tests are not just important for the safety of the parties in the donation, but also for the future child. When choosing home insemination or intercourse as a donation method, it is your own responsibility to ensure that all medical tests are in order, while donations at a clinic will usually follow the clinic protocol. Consult a healthcare professional if you have questions about the donation, potential health implications, and tests relevant to you. Ask your match to provide a recent health test.

• STD Tests: Y factor strongly recommends that donors and future parents who plan to carry the pregnancy get tested for STDs before a donation happens, to protect everyone’s health. This is important as pathogens can be present in semen, and some STDs can impact the chances of getting pregnant or be difficult to treat when you’re pregnant. Recommended tests include HIV 1/2, Hepatitis B & C, Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and HTLV.

• Genetic Carrier Screening: If one party is aware that they carry a specific gene variant for a recessive disorder, it is recommended to do genetic carrier matching to determine compatibility and reduce the risk of genetic diseases.

Tip: STD testing is strongly recommended for both parties, and genetic carrier matching if one party is a known carrier.

Formalise the Post Donation Relationship

While not legally binding in most regions, creating a written agreement before the donation helps clarify intentions, responsibilities, boundaries, the method of conception and expectations for contact after birth. This document is an important tool for trust and transparency. In regions where Known Donation Agreements are legally binding, each party needs to contact a lawyer to get an agreement in place. A written agreement is an important tool for trust and transparency, and can help to avoid misunderstandings and disagreements in the future.

Tip: A small fee on legal counsel today can protect you from higher costs tomorrow.

When the Donation Takes Place

Practical tips for reducing risk when choosing a donation via home insemination or intercourse.

Choose a Safe, Neutral Location

Choose a location that makes both the donor and future parents feel safe. Many choose to book a hotel room to have a private and neutral location for the donation. If meeting in a private space makes you uneasy, you can bring a friend or partner or share your location with someone you trust.

When Choosing Home Insemination

One way to reduce perceived risk is to split the process into two steps. 1) The donor goes to the (hotel) room alone to provide the sample and then leaves the room. 2) The insemination can then happen privately, after the donor has left. This separation maintains comfort and avoids unnecessary intimacy for both parties.

Intercourse as the Donation Method

Intercourse can increase emotional, physical, and legal risks compared to other donation methods. Make sure both parties are fully comfortable and informed right up until the moment of donation. It is always okay to stop and change your mind; no party should feel obligated to proceed with intercourse.

Be aware that intercourse may have legal consequences. In many regions, intercourse makes the donor the legal father, even if the donation is intended for a married couple. Always consult a local family lawyer before choosing this method.

Need Support or Feel Unsafe? We’re Here for You

How to report concerns and get help when something feels off.

Report Concerns

If you encounter suspicious behaviour or feel unsafe at any point, please report it through our app. We take safety seriously and will address your concerns promptly. Bringing a child into the world always requires trust and a leap of faith. Building trust and mutual understanding is key. Respect the other party’s boundaries, preferences, and decisions at all times.