6 Red Flags to Watch Out for When "Dating" for Sperm

Choosing the right person to conceive a child with, whether you're a recipient looking for a donor or a donor deciding whom to help, is no small decision. Y factor believes in giving people the power to make their own decisions based on their own priorities and preferences, not governed by sperm banks and fertility laws. However, just like in dating, not every match is a good fit. In fact, some should raise serious concerns. Here are six major red flags to watch out for before committing to a sperm donation.

Note: If you ever encounter bad or suspicious behaviour on the Y factor app, report the profile or reach out to customer support. If you are in doubt, review our Community Guidelinesand Safety Tips for more information.

Lack of Clear Communication

🚩 "Let’s figure it out later."

Sperm donation, whether through a clinic or a private arrangement, should never be vague. If the other person avoids answering key questions that are important to you or hesitates to discuss logistics, expectations, or legal agreements, that’s a clear warning sign.

✔️ What to do instead: Have open and honest conversations upfront about involvement, expectations, and legal protections. If someone refuses to be transparent, move on.

Avoiding the Conversation About Future Contact and Commitment

🚩 "We’ll see how things go."

Some people want no contact after donation, while others are open to updates, a father-figure role, or even co-parenting. If you and the other party aren’t on the same page, this can lead to tension or legal complications later.

✔️ What to do instead: Discuss and document the level of future involvement before moving forward. Y factor’s profiles help clarify expectations from the start.

Pressure or Rushing Into a Decision

🚩 "Let’s do this as soon as possible!"

Bringing a child into the world is not something to rush. If someone is pressuring you to make a quick decision or discourages you from taking time to think, that is not acceptable.

✔️ What to do instead: Take your time. Meet multiple times, ask questions, and make sure both parties are comfortable before proceeding.

Avoiding Agreements

🚩 "We don’t need a written agreement; it’s all about trust."

Even if you have the best intentions, a legal agreement protects everyone involved, especially the child. If someone is hesitant or outright refuses to put things in writing, this could cause future complications.

✔️ What to do instead: Always create a donor agreement with legal support. It clarifies rights, responsibilities, and expectations to avoid misunderstandings later.

Not Respecting Wishes Around Travel and Compensation

🚩 Whether it's a donor traveling to a recipient or a recipient covering certain expenses, both parties should respect and agree on financial aspects upfront. If someone pressures you into covering unexpected costs or dismisses your boundaries on compensation, it’s a red flag.

✔️ What to do instead: Be clear about financial expectations before moving forward. Compensation, travel arrangements, and reimbursement policies should all be agreed upon in advance.

Concerns About Medical or Genetic History

🚩 "I’m healthy; I don’t need any tests."

Health screenings are not optional in sperm donation. A responsible donor should be open to STI testing and willing to discuss their medical history, including genetic conditions. If someone refuses testing or downplays the importance of medical transparency, it’s a serious issue.

✔️ What to do instead: Prioritize safety. Y Factor encourages health screenings and allows recipients to choose donors who meet their specific health criteria.

Trust Your Instincts & Take Your Time

If something feels off, listen to your gut. The right match will be built on transparency, shared expectations, and mutual trust. By staying mindful of these red flags, both donors and recipients can ensure a smoother, safer journey toward creating a family.

Looking for a safe, transparent way to connect with donors or recipients? Start your journey with Y factor by downloading our app today.